Scary-ass childrens programmes (shame on you CBeebies!)

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Let me set the scene for you... it's 2.20pm, Bean and Oz are sat glued to the tv, mouths agog. Where am I? You'll find me behind the sofa, wincing whilst swigging from the open bottle of Masala that has been festering in the pantry for the past year since I last had the hankering for conjuring up a tiramasu...the reason?  BABY JAKE ! Gog-ee-gee-ah ! WHAT THE HELL ? Seriously I have not been so disturbed since I first clapped eyes on Dirt Girl World. For those who have not had the 'pleasure' of watching Dirt Girl World  here she is, in all her freakery. Some bright spark (probably following a lunchtime pub session) thought up this programme - oh yes putting real eyes and a mouth on a cartoon character - genius -NOT. It freaks me out - the kids love it - but I head for the kitchen (and that's not something I do lightly!). Besides that fact of the matter is that  Dirt Girl World sounds like a porn film.

Then came 'Let's Celebrate' on CBeebies, celebrating different cultures celebrations, brilliant idea yes - the main mans name in it though -WRONG WRONG WRONG ! The exec. who thought that 'Tommy Tickler' is a suitable name for a kids presenter was surely off his/her tits on crack at the time. At best 'Tommy Tickler' sounds like a pleasure enhancing device for ladies and at worst an ageing kiddy fiddler...

The kids love Baby Jake but I remain opposed to his freaky ways , so for those of you who are blissfully unaware of this programme here's a picture of the anti-christ himself...

And don't be fooled by those sweet looking animals - that rabbit sounds like he smokes 50 a day and hangs round parks in a flasher mac...